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Shady Grove Church
3805 Carpenter Pond Road
Durham, North Carolina 27703
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Thursday, 26 May 2016
What Do I Do When My Boy Says He Wants To Be A Girl?

That is a question that you probably never thought you would hear. However, in our present-day society and culture it's being asked more and more. Many Christian parents don't know what to do in situations like this. I want to tell you that there is hope for you and your child. In the following thoughts I want to give you some insight into possible steps to take if this has happened in your home.

First, I think it necessary to establish a couple of facts. 1. God made your child, and He made him/her exactly how He wanted them to be! 2. God's Word has everything that we as Christian parents need to deal with anything that comes our way.

With that being said, what should you do as a parent? First, be sure you respond to your child in the right manner. Don't get angry with them and treat them with hateful actions and attitudes. This will solve nothing, most likely it will only make the matter worse. Secondly, try to figure out where this influence is coming from. It may be surprising to you when you discover who or what might have put these thoughts into your child's head. School, friends, television, family members, all of these are possible sources. It will be very helpful to figure out who/what sowed these seeds in his mind. Thirdly, be careful who you have your child talk to bout this issue. Don't just let anyone discuss such a serious matter with him, they may give him wrong information and cause him to be further drawn to this idea. Fourthly, don't just put your head in the sand and assume the problem will go away or fix itself, it most likely wont!

How to help. Begin by talking to your child about who made them and why He made them. This is foundational to having a correct understanding of sexuality/gender. This conversation will need to be done on an age appropriate level. For a three year old girl who wants to be a boy because she thinks superman is cool it will be very short and to the point. For a fourteen year old who has been influenced by a teacher or friend this will be much more involved. Use God's Word when dealing with them. Genesis 1-3 would be a good starting point. Having a clear understanding of his/her purpose will help your child get headed in the right direction. Continue on by helping your child understand the parameters that God has drawn for gender/sexuality for us as His children. Show them why these qualities are most often attacked by a society (Romans 1).

Finally, get a Christian counselor to help. If you are a part of a Bible Believing Church talk to your pastor. If you are in the area come and talk to us. We would love to help. Remember, there is hope. Don't be discouraged, and most certainly don't give up!

Pastor Tim

Posted on 05/26/2016 9:27 AM by Pastor Tim
Thursday, 26 May 2016
The Pastor as a Theologian

Have you ever heard a pastor say "now I'm no theologan but"? The following article deals with the question does a pastor have to be a theologian? 

Every pastor should be a theologian. In making such a statement it is necessary to define exactly what a theologian is. A theologian is "a person who is an expert in theology"[1]. Theology is defined by Webster as, "the study of religious faith, practice, and experience; especially:  the study of God and of God's relation to the world"[2]. "Why would such a requirement be placed upon a pastor", one might ask? The answer lies in what the pastor's calling entails. His calling is to "feed the flock of God" (1 Peter 5:2), he is to take the Word of God and place it in the hearts of the people of God. In order for him to faithfully do this it is expedient that he understand the Person of God and His dealings with man. To grow believers it is essential that they be fed a steady diet of the Word of God, and to effectively do that the pastor must be familiar with the Word and the God of the Word.

 As Albert Mohler Jr. said, "the health of the church depends upon its pastors functioning as faithful theologians - teaching, preaching, defending and applying the great doctrines of the faith."[3] He goes on to say, "The pastor's concentrated attention to the theological task is necessary for the establishment of faithful preaching, God-honoring worship and effective evangelism in the local church."[4] There is no question that the pastor must be theologically apt to fulfill his calling. This will further enable him to conduct true research. True research is research that involves the pastor studying a biblical topic utilizing every available tool. He will be able to quickly discern what is good and helpful material and what is flawed because of his theological knowledge. Without his being a theologian he could easily teach doctrinal error and lead the flock of God in the wrong direction. The pastor's willingness to equip himself with a solid theological background is essential for him to faithfully fulfill the calling God has placed on his life.


[1]"Theologian." Accessed September 3, 2015.

[2] "Theology." Accessed September 3, 2015.

[3] Mohler, Albert Jr. The Pastor as a Theologian. (2010). Online at ( pg 1. September 4, 2015.

[4] Ibid. pg 7.

Posted on 05/26/2016 1:14 PM by Pastor Tim
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